I am sitting here watching the transformers.....

Now anyone who has grown up in the 80s will know full well what i am talking about - "AUtobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of ....the Decepticons!" The endless battle between good and evil, these gigantic robots waging war with each other for Energon crystals to gain power.

It has been ages since i last set eyes on the transformers - the latest incarnation of the transformers is Beast Wars! when i was a kid, i faithfully followed the cartoon series from the robots' battle on earth all the way to space. and the little feminist in me always wondered, Why on earth are all the robots male???? WHere were all the girl robots? bear in mind this was a 6-year old wondering why. I think my wish was finally granted with Arcee! totally female, PINK and CURVACEOUS for heaven's sake....There were a few others, but not many, such that I can't remember their names.

so anyway, my point is that..whoo hoo! it is quite funny to see on retrospect what silly stereotypes i was exposed to. if i had it my way now, my female transformers would be deep-blue steel-chrome, gun-toting and wonderfully professional and intense characters. please...NO PINK.

still, whatever i say, these old cartoons of the 80s are much more intelligent than the cartoons of today...Johnny Bravo? the Power puff girls? my goodness, most of them rely on inane visual gags and cuteness factors to market themselves. the associated merchandise, like dolls, is nothing like the sophistication of the transformer toys for example. playing with those were a bit like playing with a puzzle. for all the the 80s were painful to remember and embarrassing in many ways (cold war, big shoulder pads and even bigger hair..) there was a lot more intelligence behind things then than now. the stupidity of the 90s has manifested itself in a certain prominent personality....(who for reasons of keeping debates down to the minimum, shall remain anonymous)

i enjoy reading, but i only do so for the sheer joy of escapism. reading stimulates me, revealing to me  whole new ideas in and paradigms of thinking. I've always wondered why i never enjoyed reading non-fiction, or else my textbooks, which after all, are the adult versions of the encyclopaedias that i used to mentally devour as a kid.

books are my version of the tv, the things to do when bored. this is not to say that i read indiscriminately. in line with my excapist goals, i love sci-fi and fantasy. good fiction and literature is welcome too, so long as they are well written. the pleasure of savoring a goo dbook is almost indescribable, the anticipation as your eyes pace the lines of text, the complicit tumbling of locks and cogs in your head as you process the information and the sublime wonder of a new idea being given birth with each step. All this happens as you grasp the book wonderfully in two hands, feeling the gentle rasp of newsprint or the satin rub of coated paper beneath your questing fingers.

there are those advocates of e-books, books published entirely online. i am not such a one. books to me are ideas made tangible, they are soothing to the eyes, not bright lights shooting laser beams at your retinas. i love actual books and actual bookstores. i like browsing and finding interesting titles and editions by pure chance. it is one of the things that makes people human.

one more week till spring break - finally i will be able to escape this weather and go down to new york city! i love the city - there's so much to do and see there, so much to each and savor. the bars, the clubs, the cafes, the shops. i like the diversity and the ever-present metamorphosis the city undergoes.

but i also have a love-hate relationship with the city. at times i can't stand the constant press of the crowd, the blank stares at nothing, the restless cacophony of the voices all around. there is never a moment's quiet in the city.

you can never have a perfect thing, but i suppose there is a balance of both there. still, the thing tipping the scales is the fact that a lot of my friends are all there. life is good when you have people to enjoy it with

i hate the ice on the roads. one minute you are happily walking along, the next minute you end up flat on your back as head hits the bitumen with a resounding "ClUnK!". why can't the weather make up it's mind? we are still experiencing highs in the 30s....why oh why?

I haven't been blogging alot due to the mountain of work upon me. The result of which is that I haven't been responding to or commenting much on people's posts and comments. apologies for this.

oh yes...which brings me to another thing - i was the cause for a long long long post by SirThorn (damn the hyperlink creation...it won't work on this netscape browser) a few days ago, titled Fighting the Good Fights. i forgot to append my name to that email...little slip up there. my infrequency on xanga has led to my absence in responding to that earlier.

but anyway, I can applaud SirThorn's fight against the state of human nature - one of the reasons why i read his site is because of the interesting and thought-provoking issues about human nature that he brings up. his words can effect some changes - and i hope they do - but that is only part of the battle.

this "fighting" is not something i do, simply because i believe that people change only when they want to, when they are receptive to ideas of change. i think many of us have gone through life in "blissful" ignorance of our actions, refusing to see our mistakes despite people telling us so. I personally used to perceive people's advice and comments as nagging or else something that i knew on an intellectual level, but not an emotional one. I am still discovering my flaws as I go on my merry little way in life, and boy, do I seem to have a lot! To get back to the point, my general observation is that people go on in self-denial till one day they are in a situation whereby things come to a crisis point of sorts and revelation dawns upon them. the result of that is that they grow as people and become more mature.

I have faith that people will leave the petty squabbles behind and rise above it all, that they can change their nature, but it takes time. it seems to me that for many in xangaland right now, this is not the situation, but who am I to comment since i don;t even bother to read those sites anymore? besides, one of the biggest limitations of blogs is the lack of nuances and full detail which would allow people to understand the situation, ultimately leading to skewed perceptions.

but whatever the case is with regards to changing the state of human nature, i prefer to think along the lines of "better late than never".

so sad....i come back from a prolonged hiatus from blogging and my cute little kitten is gone!!! arrrrghhhs!

so anyway, i have been rather busy with schoolwork and all, tryign to see where my life is heading. plus, it is the nightmare time of the semester when all the tests descend, threatening to suck the life outta my poor body. I am currently in the library taking a mandatory (for me that is) study break. The saddest thing is that i have lost my love for learning - thus my ineffectiveness in studying...

i look back fondly (almost) on the days when I was inspired and motivated by my work and the things that were taught. I wonder what happened to that passion - is it burnout?

instead, i now want to invest my time and energy in other things - more hands-on practical stuff. danae and lester for example are slowly growing to like each other . I think i take good care of them - this is what i mean by doing hands-on stuff. not necessarily just the small things like this, but i want to get involved in the things that I used to love doing - i want to be singing with a group again, i want to have the time to go to the university museum to sketch the wonderful objects.

I shouldn't be complaining actually - my life is good. and i recognize that. i need to get off my butt and start kicking some serious ass. i want to reclaim my little kingdom.

whoo hoo....vday and the profusion of pink and red is over....and i have survived! (so has danae and lester - danae has the most beautiful flowers right now i think she is blossoming under lester's gaze)

i've been busy with work and doing nothing much else besides. Here's a little part of my readings to share with all of you - i personally find it hilarious. From Jean Baudrillaud's The System of Collecting, It is about collecting and why people collect objects. In it he says,

"The active phase of collecting seems to occur between the ages of seven and twelve, during the period of latency prior to puberty. With the onset of puberty, the collecting impulse tends to disappear....later on, it is men in their forties (this can be read as MID-LIFE CRISIS) who seem most prone to the pass [for collecting]. In short, a correlation with sexuality can generally be be demonstrated , so that the activity of collecting may be seen as a POWERFUL MECHANISM OF COMPENSATION during critical phases in a person's sexual development. Invariably it runs COUNTER to ACTIVE GENITAL SEXUALITY"

now...the words in bold are my own emphasis - but thsi is hilarious. it truly is.....this is the result of Freudian analysis applied to the practice of collecting.....the rest of the article talks about the practice in similar terms, though not so overtly. I personally feel that Baudrillaud is reading a bit too much between the lines here.....and to think that i am studying this for an upper-level seminar class.....:-P

isn't life wonderful? 

whoo hoo! it is friday! it was a marvelously mild day and all the snow is finally melting! it feee-eeels good! I am staring sullenly at my room....it hasn't gotten cleaned up, but oh well...:-P

am gonna watch traffic tonite i think - will review it on xanga when i get back! spring is coming spring is coming!!! i've heard good things about it. can't wait!

roses are red | violets are blue | spring is sweet | and so are all of you

btw, ZaraD, i am letting my homework rot as i vegetate this friday nite! what a bad influence i am!

warrrrghs....i think i have stabliised my orchid, Danae....at least her leaves have stopped turning yellow, except for this one leaf that is dead beyond recovery. !!! i hope she gets better so that lester has company for valentine's day

haven't been on xanga for a while - been trying to organise my life...my room is a mess and unfortunately i am not one to live in slovenliness....i am a slob who can't function in her own messes....i think i need someone to pick up after me

there's all this talk on blogs about valentine's day. it's so weird - the most amusing thing about v-day is the fact that suddenly, all the couples get extra mushy and this sends shivers down my spine!!! some of the things that they do, especially what i term SUCKING FACE....!!!! i know it's their business what they do and i am somewhat happy that they want to share their affection with the world, but arrghs...YEARRRGHS...:-P

then there is this proliferation of horrible candy and dorky looking toys - who buys these things??? i have to say that this ain't sour grapes - i have been the recipient of some of these things. i appreciate the thought that went into them at the time, but seriously....:-D!

i totally agree with ZaraD's log - don't wait till v-day to tell someone that they are special. besides, you save a bomb on flowers and chocolates and can buy more of them

i ain't bitter about v-day, but i do resent the fact that prices go skyrocketing and it has become so commercialised - oh all the lovely business opporunities there are to exploit romance. so sad when you think about it. v-day has lost its meaning for me in the deluge of plastic "sacchariness".

i like things sweet and simple. i don't need the candy or the wining and dining - they are nice - but i like the hugs and kisses more.